K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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