i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
