Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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