You're so nebulous sometimes
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
