Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
