Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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