only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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