cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
