This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
