So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
