i can't believe i had my finger in that
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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