The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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