also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
