Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
