I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
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I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize