i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
