I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
