My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
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