If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
