i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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