morning after pill = breakfast in bed
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You ruined the universe
Randomize
