i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
The adults are the big ones right?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
