i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
