Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm at about main and main street
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
