The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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