i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
