I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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