Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
