Pappa wants mamma naked
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I have tasted many bathrooms
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
