Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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