talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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