Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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