So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
