drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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