k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
