So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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