We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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