so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
