White coat. Heels.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
