im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
