Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
