Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
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