oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
honey bunches of taint.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
