So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
