I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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