I wanna passion pit in your ass
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
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