lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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