I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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