Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
