i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
