I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
