I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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