break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
