the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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