The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
