for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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