i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
my shit smells like andre
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
