It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
