Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
