I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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