he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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