Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
