I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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